Bloodhound Gang in-the-news

FHM Music Interview Highlight The Bloodhound Gang

May 6, 2006Neil Janowitz
FHM Magazine

It's not hard to offend people. Go a few days without showering and you'll quickly learn this. But it takes a special talent and tireless devotion to provoke listeners with the breadth, frequency and severity of the Bloodhound Gang. With the Gang's new album, Hefty Fine, slated for release this month, FHM sat down with Bloodhound bassist "Evil" Jared Hasselhoff to find out what it's like to make a living antagonizing others.

How does one get nicknamed "Evil"?
When we were in college, there were two guys in the same dorm named Jared. One of the guys was a real nice guy. The other one would pee in your beer when you weren't looking. I was the one with the happy bladder. So they called me "Evil".

Does the name still apply?
I'd keep an eye on my Budweiser if I were you.

What's the worst prank you've ever pulled?
We used to go into people's bathrooms during parties and fill their bathtub with shaving cream. Then we'd break light bulbs in it. Next time they went to shower, they'd step in thinking it was just whipped cream in there and realize, "Um, I just cut my feet to shreds." It's sort of the same thing as when you take a cinderblock and put it in a paper bag and drop it in the middle of the road. Drivers think it's just a paper bag until they find a cinder block wedged up under their A-frame. Hilarious.

You all prank much within the band?
We used to, but once we had people quitting on a daily basis we figured, "Maybe we should turn our anger outward."

So the new tour's been pretty quiet?
There haven't been any huge fights or anything. We get into a lot of sissy stuff—scratching, eye gouging, stabbing each other in the ankles.

Where are you headed?
Started in America October 3 and goes up to Halloween, then November 1 we go over to Europe. I think we're stuck there 'til Christmas. Who knows if those pagans over in Europe even celebrate Christmas.

Not a fan of Europe?
It's just really weird over there. They haven't discovered Lady Bic yet, they don't know what Speed Stick by Mennon is, they don't have any air conditioning and apparently they lost the recipe for ice cubes.

Problems with the climate?
Billy, the drummer, and I went over a few summers ago and got stuck in this hotel where it was consistently 100 degrees every day. We called the front desk and said, "Hey, can you come up and fix the air conditioning?" They said, "Yes, yes, we will fix the air conditioning." So a guy comes up, screws around with something a couple times and leaves. The third time he shows up, I'm like, "So did you fix the air conditioning?" And he's like, "There's no air conditioning in here." SO WHY THE FUCK DID YOU COME UP HERE THREE TIMES? WHAT WERE YOU DOING, OPENING THE WINDOW? I don't see that happening even at Motel 6 in America.

What's been your worst experience?
We went down to South America one time and it was terrible. I thought they were kidding about that Montezuma's revenge crap. But even so, I drank only bottled water, and I didn't do anything that would've brought me in contact with local water . . . except one time I went to a McDonald's and I had a hamburger that had a pickle on it. And that one little slice of pickle had enough Mexican water in it to give me the shits for a week.

What about the legendary South American beaches? Make up for it?
We did go to Rio de Janeiro and the historic Copacabana beach. I went to the supermarket a block away from the beach, and it smelled like a South Philadelphia subway station. And I said, "Why do these supermarkets smell like this?" Then I saw people walking in off the street, going over to the shelves, peeing on them, and turning around and walking out of the store. They don't have public bathrooms at the beaches, so that's what they do—they go to a supermarket and pee on the shelves. I guess that's how they preserve their food down there.

Any place you want to go?
Australia. Huge boobs down there. That's where they invented those things.

Seem to be plenty of knockers in your videos, too.
I cast the video for "The Ballad of Chasey Lain", and it was full of naked chicks. I went out to L.A. with the video's director, and we borrowed an office from the guy who does our video editing. We went around to every strip club, porn shoot and street corner in Los Angeles and handed out our card. We set up a camera and we got like 30 or 40 chicks to come and strip for us.

But Chasey wouldn't do it?
Chasey Lain was supposed to be in the video—we were going to pay her $6,000 for three or four hours of work, which has got to be more than she's ever made lying on her back. But she dicked us around and didn't show up. I later found out she didn't come because she was chasing around some other hooker for $150 worth of meth. $150!!!! She could've made $6,000. I'm thinking porn chicks: not so bright.

How did that shoot compare to the latest one, for "F.U.C.K?"
It was all right. I like it when chicks have big boobs. They can get fake implants, which is fine. But there's getting a good breast job and there's getting one from some guy behind Kmart. And the chick in this video obviously got the Kmart one. If you look at the chick who's using the jackhammer, her entire body is shaking but her boobs stay completely stationary. The jackhammer guy actually charged us when we went to take it back because she bent the handlebars with those big cement boobs.

Bam Margera's in the video too. Anything crazy go down?
Bam came up there with one of his buddies, Brandon Novak. You know how there's the retarded dude at the beginning in the video? We were standing there watching him eat a sandwich, and we told Brandon that we'd beat him up if he didn't go over and pee on it. So this guy's trying to eat his sandwich while Novak's peeing on it. I guess that wasn't very nice.

Of everything you've done, what got the most hostile response?
There were a lot of Asia—no, what are they called? Orientals—that got upset about the song "Yellow Fever." But it's not like we said, "We hate Japanese girls or Chinese girls"—the song was about how much we loved them, and all the loving things we wanted to do to them. And they turned around and protested. It doesn't make any sense. How is it prejudiced if you like them? The KKK wouldn't be in so much trouble if they wanted to go around kissing and hugging black people. They'd be more popular than the NAACP.

Wow. Were any gals wooed by the loving message?
No. The song didn't work at all. But that's because it wasn't very well written.

The Blood Hound Gang's latest album Hefty Fine is in stores now. To learn more about the band, head over to their website.